Why choosing to be in a LDR is such a BIG RISK but satisfying one?

“Why love someone from afar when you can even have anyone nearby?”

This is the usual question you get out of people who doesn’t understand or never been in a Long Distance Relationship. This is something acceptable to hear too since, really WHY?

Back when I was a kid, I’ve always known my preference… white guy with a blue eyes and definitely, that is not something you’ll normally see in a tropical country like Philippines. Growing up, I had a few flings with Filipino guys but my old time preference still existed until I meet a guy online and decided to be in a relationship. We met and got a long well but that was me being young and free spirited thus the  relationship didn’t work. Back then, I’ve already known how difficult it was to be in such situation and have started to question my preference in life. But I was open to friendship with the whities…atleast!

Then, the opportunity to travel in Europe came. I was 23 then; young, innocent, curious but anxious about whats going to happen in a foreign country. I made a lot of friends with the people, shared a few drinks here and there and solicited a lot of stories about love and life. As I’ve always said, living in Europe was one of the most adventurous trip of my life; not to mention life changing. It made me know who I am as person, as a woman, a friend and a lover. I sure had made a lot crazy stories to share. I fell in love, felt out of love, got my heart broken and learned to love again. Such a whirlwind adventure, that was.

Staying from one country to another and the idea of eventually leaving someone behind got me asking myself: Why be in a relationship? It wouldn’t be worth it anyway. Tears would fall, hatred would develop and a lot of negative things would only happen if I push into a relationship not knowing where it would go afterwards.

I was then so certain that I didn’t want to be in a long distance relationship anymore. But then, I met this man whom I got the chance to call mine.

His heart was pure. His intentions were real. His life goals fitted to mine. He was almost the perfect kind of person I wanted to be with. But there was something, He lived far away from me. Despite having the great distance in between, he proved me that a long distance relationship could be worth it… and why would I say that?

Because loving him made me patient to wait for the right time, to even make time for what is important and to value the person before it gets too late. His love made me feel like that of a princess, his respect for me and my culture and values showed impeccable deal to who I was in his life. His patience to me was beyond stars could reach and how we chose to be together despite of time difference and million miles in between could make the Goddess of Love be proud of.

Sure, there is a BIG risk to being in a Long Distance Relationship. What if the other person cheats? What if the other person is not serious? What if he/she’s just playing games? WHAT IFs would always come to mind every now and then. But the answer to what ifs would determine how well do you know your partner and how well do you trust him/her to take full control in the situation. What if there is no goal in the LDR? How will it end? My dear, a Long Distance Relationship will never succeed without goal. Both parties need to make a deal to be physically together at one point of life to answer a lot of different questions AND if you have none, then, don’t bother to be in one.

…and Why do I say it is satisfying?

Because I still got to enjoy myself and learn more about myself while being in a relationship. Being in a LDR has its ups and downs and even if people say, its mostly downs, I’d say there are few good factors about it too. One example is me being both introvert and extrovert. There are days of my life that I would enjoy being alone and doing things on my own. I love it when those days come to play in my life and because I’m on a LDR, I get to enjoy it more than the usual. I do a lot of things while my partner is still sleeping on the other side of the world, or when I get to enjoy the company of friends while he is there working/studying. We both enjoy our own world and yet having the assurance that there is someone out there waiting for us. My partner would not agree to this example though, but WTH! haha 

…and since we are in this type of situation, the joys and thrills of meeting each other again give us that euphoric feeling. We always have something to look forward to in our everyday undertakings.. AND we count days, weeks,months until we get to kiss each other again.

I’d like to say that loving while being in a Long Distance Relationship gives you more courage than that of a normal one. Everything is intense in LDR. You exert more effort in loving, in showing you care, in proving that you’re honest and sincere and effort makes a great deal in this situation. Communication is a big factor, as well. I don’t think there is ever a successful Long Distance Relationship without being a good communicator. This though, is a challenge that I’m still trying to overcome. I’m not a big talker myself and somehow that frustrates my partner. He does most of the talking and I do most of the listening and God knows I’ve been working mad on that department now. Ever found the same situation like me? Better try to talk to your partner or show him/her in a different manner.

Loving, for me, is choosing your partner everyday of your life. The moment I decided to be in a Long Distance Relationship is the same moment I chose to love him, honor him, and trust him to do the same until we come to another level of our lives.

 

 

Advertisements

Of finding LOVE 

Love, one of the many things that interests me. I love LOVE. I love that feeling of having a crush. It just gives me tingling  emotions once that person talks to me or interacts with me. I love having someone as an inspiration, even if that person doesnt really know about it. I love thinking about random ideas with someone, even crazy ones. 

I remember back in grade school,  I used to read novels such as Stephanie and/or St. Valley High. Those were the kinds that tackle about highschool life and puppy love. Ohhh Young love, how beautiful you could be!❤️ 

Moving on to my high school  years, I learned to love the works of Nicholas Sparks; A Walk to Remember, the Notebook, Message in a Bottle, etc. Name it, I’ve read it. I was such a big fan of his works and Ive always imagined myself into one of the characters. But really? Who wouldn’t want to have a happily ever after? No one, right? 

And then I started living…of which means sacrifcing, understading, and even hurting also came to terms. But I never stopped loving and never stopped believing that love is love and it has its own magic nobody ever knows.

In my 27 years of existence, I sure have my fairshare of  favorite love stories. One best example is this, 
He was a gamer, somebody whose face is always infront of a computer, talking gebberish to friends who do the same. 

She was complex. She had alot on her plate. One day she does this, the next day she won’t. 

They were miles apart. Distance and time separated them. Continents blocked them. Circumstances challenged them. But LOVE nurtured them. 

They talked for hours, never minding the gap in between. They shared stories of the past and dreams of the future. They talked nonsense too. They believe there were something and then there was not. They were closed to meeting and finally saying “hi” to each other. But she had shaking knees and he had a disappointed heart. They were gone, literally separated from the world they used to start building. It was when time and distance were a bit helpful and one continent opened up its doors, yet circumstances still never allowed them. It was when they thought things could be easier but turned out to be the opposite. There were walls, physical and emotionl gaps between two hearts. There were aggressive minds and sober feelings. There were nothing but ending to yet what they ought was a beautiful beginning. Six years to an end….but NOT really.

Love moves in mysterious ways, as a song goes. Everything that came to an end was actually a start of a beautiful beginning. Her knees weren’t shaking anymore. His heart was already welcoming. 

It was winter when she came. Everything was white except a blue guy on a coat and a trembling red heart of hers…and there it was, finally giving answers to those two minds wondering and two hearts longing. Although as pretty as a winters night with snow flakes flowing, things weren’t easy going on. Snow storm came, like that of the time when they had to be separated again. 

Six years..and while they were enjoying and starting a new chapter of their lives together, they have yet to go back on that first year of their lives; when time and distance were a struggle, continents were a hindrance but circumstances became an inspiration to work on a progressive beginning. 


This is a personal favorite despite not having a climax nor an ending. But like those happily ever after stories ever read and watched, I hope this certain story has its phenomenal ending too, like every person hopes for.