Why choosing to be in a LDR is such a BIG RISK but satisfying one?

“Why love someone from afar when you can even have anyone nearby?”

This is the usual question you get out of people who doesn’t understand or never been in a Long Distance Relationship. This is something acceptable to hear too since, really WHY?

Back when I was a kid, I’ve always known my preference… white guy with a blue eyes and definitely, that is not something you’ll normally see in a tropical country like Philippines. Growing up, I had a few flings with Filipino guys but my old time preference still existed until I meet a guy online and decided to be in a relationship. We met and got a long well but that was me being young and free spirited thus the  relationship didn’t work. Back then, I’ve already known how difficult it was to be in such situation and have started to question my preference in life. But I was open to friendship with the whities…atleast!

Then, the opportunity to travel in Europe came. I was 23 then; young, innocent, curious but anxious about whats going to happen in a foreign country. I made a lot of friends with the people, shared a few drinks here and there and solicited a lot of stories about love and life. As I’ve always said, living in Europe was one of the most adventurous trip of my life; not to mention life changing. It made me know who I am as person, as a woman, a friend and a lover. I sure had made a lot crazy stories to share. I fell in love, felt out of love, got my heart broken and learned to love again. Such a whirlwind adventure, that was.

Staying from one country to another and the idea of eventually leaving someone behind got me asking myself: Why be in a relationship? It wouldn’t be worth it anyway. Tears would fall, hatred would develop and a lot of negative things would only happen if I push into a relationship not knowing where it would go afterwards.

I was then so certain that I didn’t want to be in a long distance relationship anymore. But then, I met this man whom I got the chance to call mine.

His heart was pure. His intentions were real. His life goals fitted to mine. He was almost the perfect kind of person I wanted to be with. But there was something, He lived far away from me. Despite having the great distance in between, he proved me that a long distance relationship could be worth it… and why would I say that?

Because loving him made me patient to wait for the right time, to even make time for what is important and to value the person before it gets too late. His love made me feel like that of a princess, his respect for me and my culture and values showed impeccable deal to who I was in his life. His patience to me was beyond stars could reach and how we chose to be together despite of time difference and million miles in between could make the Goddess of Love be proud of.

Sure, there is a BIG risk to being in a Long Distance Relationship. What if the other person cheats? What if the other person is not serious? What if he/she’s just playing games? WHAT IFs would always come to mind every now and then. But the answer to what ifs would determine how well do you know your partner and how well do you trust him/her to take full control in the situation. What if there is no goal in the LDR? How will it end? My dear, a Long Distance Relationship will never succeed without goal. Both parties need to make a deal to be physically together at one point of life to answer a lot of different questions AND if you have none, then, don’t bother to be in one.

…and Why do I say it is satisfying?

Because I still got to enjoy myself and learn more about myself while being in a relationship. Being in a LDR has its ups and downs and even if people say, its mostly downs, I’d say there are few good factors about it too. One example is me being both introvert and extrovert. There are days of my life that I would enjoy being alone and doing things on my own. I love it when those days come to play in my life and because I’m on a LDR, I get to enjoy it more than the usual. I do a lot of things while my partner is still sleeping on the other side of the world, or when I get to enjoy the company of friends while he is there working/studying. We both enjoy our own world and yet having the assurance that there is someone out there waiting for us. My partner would not agree to this example though, but WTH! haha 

…and since we are in this type of situation, the joys and thrills of meeting each other again give us that euphoric feeling. We always have something to look forward to in our everyday undertakings.. AND we count days, weeks,months until we get to kiss each other again.

I’d like to say that loving while being in a Long Distance Relationship gives you more courage than that of a normal one. Everything is intense in LDR. You exert more effort in loving, in showing you care, in proving that you’re honest and sincere and effort makes a great deal in this situation. Communication is a big factor, as well. I don’t think there is ever a successful Long Distance Relationship without being a good communicator. This though, is a challenge that I’m still trying to overcome. I’m not a big talker myself and somehow that frustrates my partner. He does most of the talking and I do most of the listening and God knows I’ve been working mad on that department now. Ever found the same situation like me? Better try to talk to your partner or show him/her in a different manner.

Loving, for me, is choosing your partner everyday of your life. The moment I decided to be in a Long Distance Relationship is the same moment I chose to love him, honor him, and trust him to do the same until we come to another level of our lives.

 

 

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